So, against my better judgement, I signed up for a MUD RUN.
Don't know what that is, you say?
Well, let me tell you...
Last summer we had what the weatherfolks called an Exceptional Drought.
The heat was ridiculous.
Everything was shriveled up & dead.
Texas was ravaged by wildfires.
This put a strain on all of our local fire departments.
In order to raise money, the lovely people at Run for the Hills Charity Run put together...
One of our Docs sponsored our team.
He even bought us some awesome team shirts!
Thanks Dr. C!
They began to post pictures on the FB page of the newly designed course
and I started to get a little nervous.
5 kilometers = 3.3 miles.
What's the worst that could happen?
How bad could it be?
Hubby shook his head.
One of my co-workers said "You could break a femur!"
Thanks Amanda.
I have health insurance, long-term & short-term disability.
Really, what's the worst that could happen?
Exhibit A, your honor...
Ok, so that doesn't look TOO bad, right?
Then they start posting pics like this....
Still not scared?
So, I swallow hard, put my big girl panties on & head on up to Loose Wheels to register & pick up my race packet.
Much to my surprise, they assigned me the number
Well, then I got all cocky.
I started quoting lines from the movie "300".
"Tonight we dine in HELLLLLLL!"
"SPARRRTTTTAAAAA!"
I'll stop now.
So, Saturday morning, I got up & ate a small breakfast.
(I got a nice little pep talk from hubby about how you want to make sure
you won't mind tasting that breakfast in reverse when puking guts up later.
Thanks, honey)
Put my sassy pink zebra headband on.
Because that's what matters...
how cute you look when you are puking.
I joined my team for the big day.
As we arrived, we saw 3 of our teammates running up after finishing.
"How was it?"
"Brutal."
Well, ok.
Thanks to Miss Amanda who gave us the following tips:
Stay on the outside.
Duct tape your shoelaces.
Don't even try the cargo net.
Wear gloves.
Hay bales suck, gotta use teamwork.
The slide is awesome.
Thanks, Amanda.
(She's also the very one who told me I could break a femur.)
Here we go!
10:15 came & we started off strong.
Can I just say that people asked me if I trained.
I thought about training.
Really, I did.
Took the stairs at work.
Rode the bicycle a couple of times with G-Man.
Ate some chocolate.
Boy, that wasn't helpful at ALL.
I made if over the big wall with no problems.
I was channeling the part in An Officer & a Gentleman
where Louis Gossett Jr was yelling at the girl to "GET OVER THAT WALL!"
Didn't even try the cargo net, but trudge through the mud instead.
Made it to the tires and got through that.
Right past the tire obstacle, I felt my right leg sink down about 3 feet into the mud.
Ok, just step up.
I kept sinking.
Now, I'm up to my thigh in mud.
It wouldn't budge.
Everytime I tried to pull my leg out, the mud was sucking my shoe off.
I was hell-bent on pulling my leg out WITH my shoe on.
I was NOT going to race without my shoe.
Hubby said it was about this time that he overheard some of my teammates saying:
"Um, what is she DOING?"
"I think she's STUCK."
G-man piped up & said:
"What is Mama doing, Daddy?"
Hubby:
"I think she's stuck in the mud."
G-Man:
"Mama, quit messing around!"
Believe me people, if I could have got un-stuck, I would have.
Angie, my team-mate, who is also my Boss, came over to help.
Pulling, tugging, cheering.
Nothing was working.
I almost gave up.
I almost cried.
My husband was watching.
My son was watching.
My co-workers & teammates were watching. (and laughing)
"SPAAARRRTTTTAAA."
I starting cursing & digging.
Mud. Quick-Mud as I like to call it. Handfuls of it.
Under my nails. In my gloves.
I dug to the bottom.
Then, 2 lovely gentlemen came over, pulled me by both hands & literally drug me out of the mud.
Thank you lovely gentlemen.
Sigh.
Only 19 more obstacles to go!
And 4.5 kilos...
Belly crawling through tires & concrete drainage tubes
=
very scraped up knees & elbows.
But alas,
I trudged on.
My teammates were out of sight.
I was alone.
I walked the next 2 kilos.
I talked to God.
I thanked him for getting me this far.
I apologized for not talking to him as often as I should.
I tried to breathe in the moment.
To appreciate the wildflowers, the poison ivy, the cool water on my feet in the shallow creeks.
I actually began to welcome the water obstacles.
The water was cold & I can swim like a fish.
I caught up to my teammates at the 2nd pyramid of hay-bales.
(They took a breath & waited on me. Thank you.)
They helped me over.
We hummed the Rocky Theme Song.
We giggled.
We cheered each other on.
Soon, there was a dude that told us:
"You're almost done!
Go up that big hill to the waterslide.
Then one more really big hill &
YOU'RE DONE!"
I love him.
I don't know his name, or really remember what he looked like.
I was distracted by his angel wings & glowing halo.
THIS WAS AWESOME!
87 foot slide into a pond of muddy water.
It was my favorite part of the race!
I would have done the whole thing again just to do the slide.
BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Who am I kidding?
Anywho, I was walking up the hill to the finish line.
I saw my Hubby & G-Man.
The tears started to flow!
Here's my team!
Angie, me, Anna & Carroll!
Way to go, Girls!
"Mama, you got a medal!"
Yes, baby, Mama got a medal for messing around in the mud.
REALLY?
BAHAHAHAHAHA!
